school is super horrible. i'm totally over labs and b.s. assignments that do nothing for my future. this is stupid and a waste of time. if only labs weren't required... darn. i'm so close, so i have no choice but to finish without a hitch. i can see the faint light at the end of the tunnel... i just hope i'm not blinded when i finally get to it.

the dexter premiere was nerve-rackingly awesome. just a side note.

i'm tired of being so incredibly busy. i actually do think i want a bit of a break. it seems i always manage to pile extra things on even when my schedule was purposefully designed to be lighter. then i end up with the exact same amount of stuff to do. this tendency makes me think i subconsciously like to be overwhelmed and overly busy. maybe i thrive in stress.
...nah! i seriously want some breathing room, but i really just don't know how to make that happen. or maybe it's impossible for this particular time in my life to be less than hectic.

my hair is black again. i have been sporadically exercising- this week has been my worst in a while. i'm exhausted by school and everything else. i have been irritable and impatient with people and situations. i've been drinking more coffee, and it's not half-caff. i've been getting less sleep. i got my ABRCMS abstract acceptance email... which means more experiments (need results) for the next few weeks. i'm paying off one of my personal loans this week. my parents are going to vegas. i finally got my car inspected and oil changed. mensah is a senior in high school. mensah is a senior in high school. i still want to get married. i still want to go away. i am still poor as dirt. i still don't know where i'm going after graduation. i am restless. i am tired.

i am ready. there'd better be a change of pace pretty soon. give me something. something different. please?

it has only been three weeks and i am positively miserable in my courses. not because i'm behind or struggling necessarily, but because it's all rather silly and there's too much bs. i'm over school. i'm so over it. SeNiOrITis FTW!! blegh,

well, i have a lot to do this weekend. not only for classes (mostly for classes), but also for my fulbright application. i have received feedback from the on-campus adviser and now i need to edit my application/essays/etc. for another review and then polish it for submission by october. the personal statement needs a little more of this and a little more of that, and the statement of grant purpose needs a little less science talk and a little more layman talk. lol... i am not sure how to go about dumbing it down any further, so i will be calling on the expertise of dr. hynds. she's a word wizard. hahaha
i have monday mammalian phys lab that i need to prepare for, and i need to be studying for molec. that class makes me want to cry, commit murder and jump off a building simultaneously.

i am going to go eat my unpleasant lunch of campbell's chicken noodle microwave bowl soup. later haters.

Text:
I miss you darling. I don't want to go away from you.
Writing this [Fulbright] proposal is making me sad. What if I get it?

The Fulbright application is pretty much at a halt until I find a solid affiliation and write my project proposal and other statements. I also need my reference letters. This whole process is so involved. It’s a lot of work for such a small chance of success.

Well, some encouragement has come about through email. One of the individuals I contacted from the University of Groningen has replied, and we’ve begun a discussion on what is available for me to do if I am accepted for the scholarship. It turns out that his particular work is very appealing to me, so this is the right person to talk to! He’s been very friendly, very welcoming. This one step, one of the hardest steps, is materializing quite nicely.

Need:
Online App.
Affiliation/Letter
3 References/Letters
Personal Statement
Project Proposal

All that to the Fulbright adviser on campus by Sept. 2.

PLUS**
I am supposed to be taking the GRE this fall. I haven't studied at all. I've been taking summer classes and working on this application. Then, once the fall semester begins I'll be worrying about the crap-loads of work I have for Molec, Mammalian, Color Photo, and their respective labs! PLUS I'll be preparing for the ABRCMS conference in November. The abstracts are due September 11, but I'll need to be working on my research all semester to get more results and then make an entirely new poster for the new stuff I'm working on. 

phew! Life is annoying.

O. Chem started this week. I feel alright about it so far since this is the second time through. Everything is familiar and shouldn't be too hard to understand for the test next week. I just hope it'll be easy so I can improve my grade from last summer. I need my GPA boosted.

The new apartment is so much better than the other place. Jenn and I have settled in and I'm pretty comfortable there. I do think that I should take a day to organize my bedroom. Every other room looks fabulous, but I still have boxes full of stuff and crap everywhere in my room. Bleh, I think I hate unpacking more than I hate packing. Packing only requires that you get all your stuff in a box and moved. Unpacking means you actually have to go through the stuff you packed and find a place for it.  Wah! D'=

Dr. Hynds has given me two new projects, as I requested more to do in lab. My dissections aren't going well, as usual. And I seriously think that those eggs don't last for more than a few weeks. I have put several in the incubator recently and none of them have developed chicks. A couple weeks ago, I had a couple of chicks to dissect and now every egg I incubate is chickless! Oh well, I guess we'll have to see if we can order the eggs in smaller batches since I can't possibly dissect two dozen in a few weeks anyway.



Beatles: Across the Universe- that song is stuck in my head. Urgh... it's a good one.